Torres to Voyager.
l could use a little help here.
What's your status?
l'm approaching your position,
but that ion storm blew out my deflector field.
l've lost helm control,
and l'm venting plasma from the port nacelle.
We're modifying a tractor pulse to slow you down.
Acknowledged.
The arresting fields are in place.
You're clear to land.
Hold on, B'Elanna.
This is going to be bumpy.
B'Elanna?
Oh.
Are you alive?
You tell me.
You've got a mild concussion.
That's the best thing that's happened to me all day.
When l give you an order, l expect you to follow it.
l told you to return to Voyager,
not chase the probe
into the center of an ion storm.
We only have one multispatial probe.
l didn't want to lose it.
We only have one B'Elanna Torres.
l don't want to lose her, either.
Understood.
Lanna...
l'm glad you made it back in one piece.
Did you just call me ''Lanna''?
l suppose l did.
That's what my mother used to call me.
Well, then, l'm in good company.
Come in.
Feeling better?
l've felt worse.
l found something you might be interested in.
lt's what my ancestors called a ''monkey wrench.''
lt was lodged in your port nacelle.
How did it get there?
Judging by your sensor logs, it looks like you ran into it
after your deflector field collapsed.
But the big question is: How did it get in this quadrant?
What do you mean?
What?
lt's Klingon.
And it's old.
That's about all we know.
Looks like the Klingons beat Starfleet to the Delta Quadrant
by a few hundred years.
You may be holding the most important archaeological find
in Klingon history.
Remind me to plant a flag on behalf of the Empire.
You know, the simplest explanation
is that the Borg assimilated a bird-of-prey
somewhere in the Alpha Quadrant,
and they blew it out an airlock on their way home.
Maybe so.
ln any case, it makes a nice souvenir.
Harry, it bled, it screamed.
There's got to be some explanation.
Hey, l've got one for you.
You hit your head harder than you thought.
l wasn't hallucinating.
Now, run a submolecular scan.
How many more scans are we going to run?
There is nothing there.
No fluid or vapor residue.
We may find some irregularities at the atomic level.
lt's a hunk of metal.
What you heard may have had nothing to do
with this artifact.
Maybe the com system
picked up some stray signal from a pulsar--
l don't know.
A pulsar that speaks Klingon.
Okay, B'Elanna, there probably is some explanation
for what happened, but it's 0300 hours.
l'm tired, you're tired.
Let's just stick this thing in a containment field
and deal with it in the morning.
Ah! Just the daughter
of the Empire l've been looking for.
l wanted to be the first to congratulate you
on your discovery of the Klingon artifact.
Neelix, l ran into it with a shuttle.
Some of the greatest discoveries in Klingon history
were accidents.
When Sarpek the Fearless unearthed the Knife of Kiromm
he was searching for his lost targ.
lsn't that amazing?
l've been doing some research.
Why?
Well, l'm planning a celebration.
This... must be the treasure.
Neelix, look, l appreciate your enthusiasm,
but since l'm the only Klingon onboard,
there's really no point in throwing a party.
Oh, nonsense.
This artifact isn't just a testament to Klingon spirit.
lt's a piece of the Alpha Quadrant--
a symbol of Voyager's home,
and that's just as worthy of celebration and song
as finding some old knife.
Man's got a point.
Besides, l've already
replicated five barrels of bloodwine.
l'm not going to let them go to waste.
Festivities begin at 1900 hours.
Oh! Uh, l almost forgot.
As guest of honor, you're gonna be expected
to say a few words on behalf of your people.
Sounds like you got a big day ahead of you.
You should probably get some rest.
All right, all right, let's call it a night.
Thank you.
Do not underestimate the power of the mind.
The artifact was a catalyst for your already active imagination.
lt served as an unwelcome reminder of your ancestry--
the self-loathing you experience
when you look in the mirror and see a Klingon.
Who said anything about self-loathing?
You despise being Klingon.
lt's no secret.
What you experienced in your quarters
was a subconscious manifestation of that hatred.
The blood in your veins, the voices of your ancestors--
all symbols of your Klingon heritage.
And when the blood disappeared,
that was, what?
Me trying to vaporize that part of myself?
Yes.
But the essence of who you are-- the artifact itself-- remained.
And the moral of the story is...?
Quite simple. That despite your efforts
to become something else,
whether it be Starfleet or Maquis,
your Klingon nature continues to assert itself.
That's an intriguing theory.
Perhaps we should forego your meditation
in favor of a different exercise.
Fine by me.
This should be interesting.
Feel the weight of the bat'leth in your hands.
Describe the first thought that enters your mind.
lt's a clumsy weapon, overstated,
like everything else Klingon.
You can't see the elegance of its design,
because of your hatred.
l don't hate Klingons.
lt's a warrior's blade...
crafted for precision
and balance.
Observe.
ls this your idea of therapy?!
Listen to yourself whine like a Ferengi.
pahtk!
You're not worthy of the blood in your veins.
A true Klingon would try to kill me where l stand.
What the hell has gotten into you?
This exercise is over.
You are dismissed, Lieutenant,
and take your dishonor with you.
...migh hohk-chew koo
Ej lM-ta fe DE-ja i...
And the blood was ankle-deep.
ejdahk-so-TAS ghos va Skral byteek...
And the river Skral ran crimson red.
l fail to see the merit
of learning a Klingon drinking song.
lt's not about drinking, Seven.
lt's about saluting the noble deeds of our ancestors
and honoring those who fell in battle.
Think ''Qapla'!''
Think ''Long live the Empire!''
Think again.
Okay, so l'm overdoing it a bit,
but try to get into the spirit of the occasion.
Very well.
Ej lM-ta fey
DE-ja i
ejdahk-so-TAS ghos va Skral byteek
Empa jaj law-moch jaj-pusH
jaj Kahless Molor-migh hohk-chew koo.
gagh, anyone?
Sop joq jiH yuv gagh drek!
He said, ''Eat this
or he'll force it down the gullet of your corpse.''
No offense.
Oh, none taken.
So this is replicated, right?
Unfortunately.
And how do you get it to... move?
l used a kinesthetic agent to give it a little oomph.
ls it just me,
or has everyone gone Klingon-happy?
Oh, come on, B'Elanna.
They're all doing this for you.
Well, then they don't know me very well.
And if you even think of joining in
on this ''embrace your heritage'' nonsense,
l swear l'll rip out your tongue and wear it as a belt.
Oh, no... there's not a lot of Klingon in you.
l inherited the forehead and the bad attitude-- that's it.
She would have loved all this.
Your mother?
She was so obsessed with Klingon ritual, myths.
lt used to drive my father and me crazy.
Did l ever tell you that she put me in a Klingon monastery?
Ah. You're kidding.
lt was after their marriage ended.
She pulled me out of the Federation school
in order to teach me... honor and discipline.
Hmm... out of the plasma cooker into the fire.
She prayed to Kahless every day
to guide me in the ways of the warrior.
l guess he wasn't listening.
Ladies and gentlemen, could l have your attention, please?
l hate to interrupt the festivities,
but before l turn the floor over to our resident Klingon,
l'd like to say a few words.
This is a great day for the Klingon Empire--
a day when we honor their ancestors.
Those warriors whose deeds of valor and glory...
led them to the Delta Quadrant.
May they live on in song and story.
Captain!
legh soH va Gre'thor!
Where am l?
Silence.
The dead ask no questions.
Computer, end program!
Qem nuH meq!
Let go of me!
Wait... wait...
'uch ghaH.
Uh, wait...
She won't take the mark.
What the hell is going on?
Qusdaq.
ba'daH.
mag hoshonaH nes'a.
Where am l?
You should know; you're half Klingon.
Enlighten me.
This is the Barge of the Dead.
Our dishonored souls are being taken to Gre'thor.
Klingon hell is a myth.
That's what l thought--
just a foolish superstition.
lmagine my surprise.
But l was on Voyager with my crew.
That was the naj--
the dream before dying.
When we can't accept that we've died,
we create the illusion of life
to hold on to.
He slaughtered my friends.
No. He slaughtered the dream.
He dragged you from the illusion of life.
This is where you belong.
What is that?
lt's the kos'kari.
They'll try to lure you to them. Don't listen.
B'Elanna, are you there?
Lieutenant, can you hear me?
Help us find you!
Tom? Chakotay?
lt's not your friends!
jiH qoy soH!
There are things here worse than death.
You.
ls this the mongrel child you spoke of?
Yes. The one whose face would not bear the mark.
B'Elanna, daughter of Miral...
it's not your time.
How do you know my name?
You've come close
to boarding this ship many times.
l remember the first.
You were a child.
Your mother took you to the Sea of Gatan.
Your curiosity was as deep as the water.
l fell in.
l almost drowned.
When your mother breathed life back into your lungs
she told you about me.
So you're supposed to be Kortar.
Ah... you remember me.
l remember the myth of Kortar, the first Klingon.
He destroyed the gods who created him.
And as punishment, l was condemned to ferry
the souls of the dishonored to Gre'thor.
l may have believed in you as a child, but not anymore.
lf you didn't still believe, you wouldn't be here.
Foolish girl.
You cannot harm me.
l'm already dead.
What's happening?
The soul of another dishonored warrior is being delivered.
kot'mah soH Gre'thor!
Qapla.
Mother.
lt's all right.
You're safe.
Your shuttle was drifting
on the trailing edge of an ion storm.
You lost life support.
We found you just in time.
But l got through the storm.
l remember crashing into the Shuttle Bay.
When we tractored your shuttle back to Voyager,
you were in a coma.
We almost lost you.
The Klingon artifact...
Artifact?
My hand...
You took quite a beating out there--
more than your fair share of cuts and bruises.
Come in.
How are you feeling?
Um... a little out of place.
Would you like to talk about it?
Yes...
and no.
Let me know when you decide.
l don't know how to say this without sounding crazy.
Try.
Do you believe in an afterlife?
l accept there are things in the universe
than can't be scanned with a tricorder.
What happened to you out there?
l think...
l died.
l died, and l was on the Barge of the Dead,
in the Klingon afterlife.
Klingon mythology has been ingrained in you
since you were a child.
lt's not surprising you experienced some
of those images while you were unconscious.
l saw my mother, Chakotay.
lf it was real, then she's dead.
B'Elanna...
your mother... the Barge of the Dead...
these are just symbols.
lt's your subconscious mind trying to tell you something.
Tell me what?
That my mother is going to hell?
You need time to digest what you experienced.
You have to interpret the symbols
and search for their meaning.
What if there is no symbolism to interpret?
What if the afterlife is real?
l'm an engineer.
My whole life, l've immersed myself
in science and... and schematics.
But what if it's time to start looking beyond that?
My grandfather used to...
think he could transform himself into a wolf,
so that he could venture out to explore the spirit realm.
lt was real to him.
As real as what you experienced was to you,
but that doesn't mean he grew hair all over his body
and walked around on all fours.
My mother has been on my mind a lot lately.
We just had a big anniversary.
lt's been ten years...
since we talked.
But it was so real.
l could taste the blood in the air.
l could feel the wind.
l was seasick from the rocking of the boat.
Hi.
Hi.
What are you reading?
The paq'batlh.
lt's a sacred Klingon scroll.
Find anything?
You don't want to know.
Oh, come on.
lt can't be that bad.
You want to bet?
l found out why my mother is on her way to Gre'thor.
lt's because l sent her there.
What do you mean?
The sins of the child.
She's being punished for my dishonor.
l turned my back on everything Klingon,
and now she has to pay the price.
B'Elanna, you can't even be sure
your mother is dead, much less blame yourself
for what happens to her in some afterlife.
Look at this.
The Eleventh Tome of Klavek.
lt's a story about Kahless returning from the dead...
''still bearing a wound from the afterlife''--
a warning that what he experienced wasn't a dream.
The same thing happened to me.
B'Elanna, this...
And the only reason
Kahless was in the afterlife to begin with
was to rescue his brother from the Barge of the Dead
and deliver him to Sto-Vo-Kor.
Okay.
Don't you see?
l have a chance to rescue my mother
if l can accept responsibility for her dishonor
before she passes through the gates of Gre'thor.
l have to go back.
Whoa. Wait a minute.
What do you mean, ''go back''?
l can't let her suffer for what l've done.
lt's the only way.
B'Elanna, l respect what you believe in,
but you're starting to scare me.
l'm scaring myself.
lt's a controlled procedure.
l'll be under constant supervision.
The Doctor can simulate the conditions of the ion storm.
He's agreed to help me, but only with your permission.
l'm still not inclined to grant your request.
Are you telling me
that l can't pursue my spiritual beliefs?
B'Elanna, l'm not going to let you
turn this into a debate about freedom of worship.
But that's what it is.
There's a limit to how far
l'll let religious practices go aboard this ship.
lf your belief system required you
to sacrifice a child to your gods,
l wouldn't allow that, either.
That's an absurd example.
You want to simulate a near-death experience,
so you can revisit the Barge of Death,
and you're telling me what's absurd?
Bottom line, B'Elanna--
l'm not going to let you risk your life for this.
Captain, please.
Request denied.
What l do with my own life is one thing,
but to know that l have condemned my mother...
that because of what l've done, she's...
l appreciate what you're trying to say, B'Elanna,
but whatever you experienced, it wasn't real.
lt doesn't matter if you think it was real.
lt was real to me.
Whatever it was, it changed me.
l can't ignore that.
l need to confront what's happened.
l'm sorry.
You know, you're just like her.
Lieutenant?
My mother.
You're as dedicated to Starfleet principles
as she was to Klingon honor.
l know that we haven't always seen eye to eye,
but despite our differences,
you helped me become a good officer
and l'd like to think that you're proud of me for it.
l am.
My mother never had the chance to be proud of me.
l'd like her to know me the way you do.
l don't want her to die thinking of me as a disgrace.
You have to let me do this.
l can't believe the Captain is allowing this.
One minute, you're in a coma.
The next, you're a born-again Klingon?
l-l just don't get it.
l'm not sure l get it, either.
l just know this is something l have to do.
There's got to be an easier way
for you to explore your spirituality.
Go to church, or something?
lt wouldn't be enough.
Look, l'll read the scrolls.
l'll learn Klingon.
We'll figure this out... together.
Next time.
l just hope there is a next time.
There will be.
Report.
l've examined the sensor logs
from the shuttle mission.
l should be able to re-create the exact conditions
that triggered her near-death experience.
Good. B'Elanna?
l'm ready.
Be careful.
You'll have an hour to do whatever it is you need to do.
At the first sign of trouble, we're bringing you out.
Understood?
Computer...
erect an isolation field around the Surgical Bay.
Decrease oxygen concentration
within the force field by 27 percent.
Begin ionizing the enclosed atmosphere
to 5,000 particles per cubic meter.
She's unconscious.
Neural activity
is decreasing to 87 percent...
62 percent...
Synaptic function is failing.
Compensating.
Neural activity is nominal.
She's not breathing.
She's still alive.
Her lungs are taking in just enough oxygen
to keep her brain from necrotizing.
Qapla', B'Elanna.
suS'ag Gre'thor qay.
Mother.
Stay away.
You are an illusion.
You're a kos'kari trying to lure me away.
Mother, it's me.
lt's me.
B'Elanna?
No.
Then you died as well?
l've come to lift your dishonor.
But you don't believe in Sto-Vo-Kor.
A lot's happened since the last time l saw you.
l've changed.
Not enough.
lt was you who brought this damnation upon me.
lf you hadn't tried to, to force me
to become a warrior...
l tried to guide you in the ways of a Klingon.
You tried a little too hard.
lf you had listened to me when you were younger,
we wouldn't be on the Barge of the Dead.
You were always running away.
You drove me away...
the same way you drove away my father.
He abandoned us.
You pushed him to the point where he couldn't bear
to be around anything Klingon... including me.
l wanted to give you honor.
And if you had understood that,
l would not be on my way to Gre'thor.
We're on the Barge of the Dead...
and we're still having the same argument
we were having ten years ago.
Look, if l have dishonored you, l am truly sorry.
Are you?
You have too much anger in your heart to be sorry.
Oh, we don't have time for this
if we're going to perform the transference.
ls that how you intend to lift my dishonor?
By taking my place?
Oh, don't worry.
l have no intention of being on this barge
when it gets to Gre'thor.
We've got just enough time to perform the ritual
before my crew resuscitates me.
Oh.
l should have known you'd choose the easy way.
What are you talking about?
Do you know the risks l've taken to save you?
You still understand nothing about being a Klingon.
l would rather face damnation
with what little honor you have left me
than cheat my way into Sto-Vo-Kor.
There she is. Bring them.
The mongrel child has returned.
l'm here to take my mother's place.
B'Elanna!
You wish to claim her dishonor as your own?
Yes.
You're willing to die for her?
Yes. Release her to Sto-Vo-Kor.
No!
Keep her quiet!
Silence!
lt's not your decision.
She has the right to reclaim your honor.
Once we have reached Gre'thor
and you are within its gates, l will release her.
No. Now.
You're very impatient.
Time must be slipping away in the living world.
You're concerned that your friends will revive you
before you complete your deception.
Did you really think l could be fooled so easily?
l will die for her.
No tricks,
no games.
l will take her place honorably.
Like a Klingon.
lf you choose this path,
your friends will not be able to save you.
No! l forbid it!
l understand.
Your dishonor has been lifted.
Sto-Vo-Kor awaits you.
l will not abandon my daughter.
She has made the choice. Go!
Daughter of Miral,
embrace your fate.
Vih.
Her neural patterns are breaking down.
l'm initiating emergency resuscitation.
Vent the ionized particles.
20 milligrams cordrazine now!
l'm deactivating the force field.
Welcome to Gre'thor.
This isn't Gre'thor.
Oh, l assure you it is.
You've taken your mark.
What is this, some kind of a joke?
This is no laughing matter.
You've met Mr. Neelix,
our Ambassador to the recently deceased.
Questions, comments, suggestions... he's your man.
lf you'll follow me.
By the way, l'll be performing an aria
from Berlioz's Faust
tomorrow night in Holodeck 2.
Feel free to stop by.
15 decks.
Computers augmented with bio-neural circuitry.
Top cruising speed: warp 9.97 5.
Not that you'll be going anywhere.
No Fek'lhr?. No Cavern of Despair?
Don't need them.
l don't consider Voyager hell!
Are you sure?
Have you ever been truly happy here?
lf you thought 50 years aboard this ship
would be difficult, try eternity.
Ej lM-ta fey DE-ja i
ejdahk-so-TAS ghos va Skral byteek
Empa jaj law-mooch jaj-pusH...
This is a great day for B'Elanna Torres,
a day when we pay tribute to her dishonor.
She's not responding to the cordrazine.
Neural activity at 48 percent... 37.
We're losing her.
We have to stabilize her synaptic functions.
l'm attempting a direct neural resequencing.
B'Elanna's misdeeds have led her to Gre'thor.
She comes with no valor, no glory...
nothing to celebrate in song and story.
You really have no one to blame but yourself.
You've kept us all at arm's length,
even Tom, who you claim to love.
Here, here.
l tried to assist you
in making Engineering more efficient,
but you resisted. You're stubborn.
She inherited that from her mother along with the forehead.
What do you think of the afterlife so far?
lt's not exactly what l had in mind.
Are you interpreting all the symbols?
Searching your subconscious for their meaning?
Lieutenant Torres...
defend yourself.
Captain?
What are you still doing here?
l've released you to Sto-Vo-Kor.
You can't free me until you free yourself.
l don't understand.
You never did.
l did everything that the ritual told me to do.
l came back for you...
Forget the ritual.
lt's meaningless.
Meaningless?
l died for you.
No, you didn't.
lt's not your time.
You still don't understand this journey.
Then tell me.
Request denied.
What do you want?
Who are you asking?
You, Kahless, the tooth fairy!
Anybody who will tell me what l am supposed to do!
You are the only one who can answer that question.
Choose to live, B'Elanna.
Neural activity's at 23 percent.
lnitiate cortical stimulation.
Pulses at 50 millijoules.
No effect.
lncrease to 70 millijoules.
Come on, B'Elanna.
Defend yourself.
You want me to fight?
You want me to be a good little Klingon?
ls that it?
You've let your anger consume you.
Now it's consuming us.
She has condemned us all.
Misery loves company.
Get away from me!
Or what?
You'll kill us where we stand?
Tell me what you want me to be!
A good Starfleet officer?
A good Maquis?
Lover?
Daughter?
Just tell me what you want from me!
We don't want anything from you, B'Elanna.
We only want you.
We're not your enemies.
Defend yourself.
l don't know how.
l am so tired of fighting.
We know.
You've taken the first step of your journey.
And what about you?
We will see each other again.
ln Sto-Vo-Kor?.
Yes, in Sto-Vo-Kor.
Or maybe... when you get home.
Mother?
Oh, God, l'm alive.
Welcome back.